I've Lost Faith In The Trainers On The Biggest Loser.

I was watching The Biggest Loser a couple of weeks ago and the woman, Jillian was talking. She was saying something about how the only thing that matters with the people she's training was losing pounds. She said people who are losing inches are just fooling themselves, that the scale doesn't lie...what??? Really? Yes I would like to weight a lot less but telling people that they have to lose pounds and that being a smaller size doesn't matter is only making matters worse. The pressure to do well on that show is bad enough, but to be told what progress you've made isn't good enough only serves to make the contestants feel hopeless. Honestly, I've never liked the way they do things on that show anyway. They seem to be more interested in getting huge results and squeezing all of the drama they can out of every week to get high ratings.

From what I understand that most of the people who lost weight on that show have gained most or all of the weight back. How is that helping anyone? That's why I've decided to quit watching it. That's the reason I quit watch Celebrity Fit Club because the panel pretty much said the same thing.

Depression

I am a depressive, have been for most of my life. This winter has been particularly hard since the economy is in the toilet, we (meaning the people in my household) are in financial trouble and I have had to deal with someone who is sick and doesn't want to admit it. All of this coupled with the S.A.D. that I have has been difficult for me to say the least. This is why I have ignored this blog. I feel quite guilty about it, and am hoping to be able to pull my butt up out of the darkness and do some blogging. I thank anyone who reads this regularly for your patience and appreciate that you're interested enough in what I have to say to keep coming back.

To anyone who is in my situation, know that you are not alone. Depression is something that happens a lot and is treatable. There are lots of places that have free therapy for those who cannot afford treatment or who do not have insurance. Many times these things are offered through county or city services, and lots of churches offer therapy as well.

A Nice Surprise.

I got on the scale this morning...against my better judgment, and discovered that I weight 271lbs. I don't know why, I haven't started exercising, but there it was, a 1.4lb. loss. Not that I mind, I'll take it, but it's odd. It's probably just a natural fluctuation, but like I said, I'll take it!

I'm so needy!

The title is a bit of a play on words, but I really do need a lot of stuff...clothes, shoes, health care, exercise equipment...yada-yada-yada. Ughhh...I wish I'd never moved to CA.

And so it begins...

I said I would come do this today and here I am posting all of the ugly unvarnished truth. I am ready for change and whileI may not always be perfect I will give it my best shot.

As of today, December 26th 2008 I weigh 272.4 lbs. , amd 51% fat, and I am about 5'5.5"- 5'6" tall.

I am way too large for my fram and I am beginning to feel it in my hips again. I say again because at one time I was up to 297lbs. I lost all the way down to 193lbs, and then I moved here to CA. and things got difficult and I gained the weight back.

My ultimate goal is 126 lbs. I've checked and it is well within a healthy range for me, so I am comfortable with that goal.

I am in a very tight situation with money right now, but I can at least still exercise even if I don't have the money to eat properly. I am hoping that things will turn around for me soon though. Just gotta keep that positive vibe flowing, you know?

So, just like the title of this entry says, it begins today...well, tomorrow, but you know what I mean.

New Beginnings.

It's Christmas and I am feeling rather hopeful that the new year will be better than the last few I've had. I'm feeling renewed and motivated and that's always a positive sign. I will be back tomorrow with weights and measurements so I know where I am and what I have to do to get to where I want to go.

My best to all of you and hope you have a good holiday.

Getting ready...

So I guess with this new blog should come a new effort to lose weight. I have a slight problem, however. I have no job, (I write, but it's freelance and I'm just getting started with that so no money is coming in), and I have very little money to get the healthy food I need. I am also living on top of a 6200 foot mountain so getting out to exercise is a problem in Winter. Ah....I guess that which does not kill us makes us stronger, eh?

My next post I will detail what I want to do, what I can do, where I am right now, where I want to get for goal, and that sort of thing.